Emil Cioran from The Monopoly of Suffering :

Why don’t I commit suicide? Because I am as sick of death as I am of life.  I should be cast into a flaming cauldron!  Why am I on this earth?  I feel the need to cry out, to utter a savage scream that will set the world atremble with dread.  I am like a lightning bolt ready to set the world ablaze and swallow it all in the flames of my nothingness.  I am the most monstrous being in history, the beast of the apocalypse full of fire and darkness, of aspirations and despair.  I am the beast with a contorted grin, contracting down to illusion and dilating toward infinity, both growing and dying, delightfully suspended between hope for nothing and despair of everything, brought up among perfumes and poisons, consumed with love and hatred, killed by lights and shadows.  My symbol is the death of light and the flame of death.  Sparks die in me only to be reborn as thunder and lightning.  Darkness itself glows in me.